Dear Valentine...

Like it or not, Valentine's Day is upon us. I have found the more than any other holiday, people hold strong to their opinion of the day. But like it or not- you cannot go to a store without its candies, flowers and hearts being displayed before your eyes.

Every since I was a kid, I have loved the day! My grandmother always sent me a beautiful card, my parents would place a big heart shaped box of chocolate by my breakfast plate and at school we would pile one another's desks high with Disney princess cards, heart shaped lollipops and those beloved (or not) conversation hearts. I would spend hours baking beautiful cookies and making cards with doilies and construction paper just to share the joy with my family whom I love. Unlike many others, even through my single days, I enjoyed celebrating the day of love!

Though some call it simply a commercial holiday where love is forced in your face, you must declare all of your feelings, and you are coaxed to show up at your girlfriend's house with a rose- I call it LOVELY!

In the middle of a snowy, cold winter where everything is looking gray and the festivities of Christmas are a thought of the past, pink and red little hearts and candies begin to appear, thoughts about love are dispersed over the airwaves and life looks a little bit more cheery. It's the time again! Time to love...LOVE.

If you have always enjoyed the day like me- celebrate for all its worth! And if you bemoan the isles of cookies, candies, and cards- rethink your position this year. If you are single, send a loving note to a friend or a parent and place a chocolate on an unsuspecting coworkers desk. If you are in a relationship, take the opportunity to remind the one you love of that very fact! We are celebrating the goodwill of St. Valentine, afterall! And who couldn't use a little love and cheer. Besides its going to come again next year on February 14th, and the year after that as well. Might as well greet it with a smile, send a little love and declare to all who can hear...

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY! What a wonderful chance to celebrate love!!!

Colossians 3:14 And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

Inspiration...

"When your heart is in your dream, no request is too extreme..." Jimminy Cricket :)

Haiti...my 1st taste of adventure...



Honduras...where the dream first began





Argentina- my first big step on my own





Tanzania...the land that stole my heart



My hospital...



The ones that inspire me to follow my dreams...



The one I can't wait to share my life with!

My Thoughts In This New Year...

Here I sit again, on the brink of a brand new semester. All of my things are neatly situated back into my room after Christmas break. My candle is burning, music is playing and I am gearing up for my math test at 7 am tomorrow morning. I feel like I have been here a thousand times before. Excited for what is to come, but still holding on to what I left behind. Christmas went to quickly, and my precious time with Mwita disappeared. Tomorrow, though, holds my last first day at Lancaster General. I am excited and nervous and everything in between.

Over break I have been thinking a lot of the upcoming year. This year marks the beginning of my true adulthood. I will become not only an RN, but a wife. I will begin a new career, move to a new state and start my life as a married woman. That is AMAZING and kind of scary at the same time. I'm ready to grasp the future, but nervous to let go of the past. Sitting in marriage counseling with Vish the other day, though, I was given a new perspective. He said that a friend once told him to think of Tarzan. When he is swinging through the forest he has to let go of the vine he came from and latch onto the one ahead. If he holds on to both...he will be stuck. Swinging in limbo...waiting. If I do not let go of the past, I will not be able to move ahead into what the future holds for me. This semester I am going to keep on swinging and anticipate what is ahead.

I also watched Eat, Pray, Love over break and absolutely loved it. Though she does not line up with me theologically and really not even morally, I loved some of the ideas in the movie. One of the greatest things I learned from it was how to truly live. I don't want to waste a moment, don't want to waste a day. Don't want a single second to pass me by that I don't truly live. I want to squeeze every experience I can out of each day and quit wishing my life away. I bide the time or press through the days instead of thanking the Lord for every breath and every moment of every day. I want to live to the fullness that I have been created to live! How fun, exciting, wonderful, and new each day will be if I begin with that attitude!!!

May this year bring success, sweetness, joy, love, peace, excitement, and newness... and may I NOT MISS ONE SINGLE BIT!!!

December 9, 2007- A Night I Will Never Forget...

I remember it very clearly, that night just 3 years ago when everything changed. It was the most beautiful time in Denver. The snow was quietly falling on the land, Christmas decorations where hung and excitement was thick in the air. In just a week would be headed on the adventure of a lifetime- Argentina here we come. Little did we know, the adventure was closer than we thought.

As the Christmas party activities wrapped up and everyone went in their separate ways, I stepped outside in the beautiful snow to talk to my Father. I was excited for the things to come, but still figuring out where I was headed. I remember very clearly being in awe of the peace of that night. It was so quiet as the world was blanketed in a covering of white. As midnight was nearing, I had a very clear feeling that it was time to go inside, I didn’t think much of it, I just went.

As I crawled into my bed talking to my roommates about the activities of the day and the things yet to come, we heard the sound that would shatter our worlds. Gun shots. No one knew what was happening, two people ran into our rooms saying someone had been shot, that we should hide and wait. It seemed as if the whole world was swirling around us, seconds felt like hours, I had never been so scared. I remember Rosie and I sitting in her bed crying out to God for help. Police sirens has never been so comforting before. The rest of the night is somewhat a blur to me. I remember grabbing coats and slippers and being escorted downstairs by the police. I can’t remember how long it took. I remember sitting in the foyer and being so relieved as I saw the faces of the people I knew and loved, still with us. We all knew, though, that some people were missing.

I remember being taken to the police station and feeling so tired, so weary, so scared. We each talked to the police and then sat quietly and waited. For what, we did not know. I napped on and off and finally was able to talk to my parents. They were so relieved to hear that I was ok.

And then I remember a moment that will be in my head forever. We were all brought together and were told what had really happened. A gunman had come in and had shot four staff members…Tiff and Phil were with Jesus already that night. Tears felt so hot as they rushed down my cold cheeks. We cried and cried and hugged one another, not knowing how we could go on from there. Just that afternoon I had sat in my room with Tiff talking about ice skating and what she would wear for the party that night. Now it was just a memory.

The rest of the story as also somewhat fuzzy in my mind. We were so exhausted, traumatized and scared. I remember when we found out that the gunman would no longer be a threat. I remember returning to the base and going into the hall were our friends had been shot. We sang out to God at the top of our lungs “the enemy has been defeated, death couldn’t hold You down.”

More than anything, I remember everyone talking about how all Tiff wanted was to change the world by loving people. She did just that you know. Her life ended far too early, but she has been inspiring people everyday. From that day on, I knew I was kept for a purpose. I was sitting outside alone that night. It could have been me. It could have been any of us. But we are still here. I love Tiff’s motto. So simple, but so profound. That night, though sad, and if I could I would undo it, has given me a reason to live. A reason to go out and change the world. I’m carrying on your legacy, Tiff. I’m changing the world by loving people. I think you would be so proud.

Shout Unto God- Hillsong United

The enemy has been defeated
And death couldn't hold You down
We're gonna lift our voice in victory
We're gonna make Your praises loud

Shout unto God with a voice of triumph
Shout unto God with a voice of praise
Shout unto God with a voice of triumph
We lift Your name up
We lift Your name up

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!

This Thanksgiving season I am so thankful for all of my family and friends in the beautiful village of Ntagatcha!I am also grateful to those who have enabled me to be a part of the wonderful work going on at Teamwork City of Hope! I am blessed.

Perspective...

Lately, life has been busy to say the least. With this being the supposedly toughest semester in the nursing program, working on weekends, planning a wedding, and trying to fit in family and friends...I feel, well, like the typical American. We are busy, busy, busy! Always working and running around, and often complaining of all we have to do. I have found that I have fallen into the same trap. I compare my schedule with others and the "winner" is the one who is stressed to the max, whose to do list takes up two whole spreadsheets, and whose idea of a good night's rest is a 4 hour "nap" in front of the TV. How do we see that as winning? How does that equal having a joyful life? But so many of us seem to fall into it! Busy does not necessarily equal blessed. And yet we do have responsibilities, we have goals in mind and things to accomplish. This isn't all bad. In fact, it is great to be motivated and working toward something, but may we be aware of the barrenness that can come from a busy life.

I have chosen every single thing that keeps my life busy. I am excited to graduate and become and RN, I cannot wait to marry Mwita, I love spending time with my family, and I enjoy my job! But still, life feels too full and I found myself often being anything but content.

As I have been thinking about all of this, though, I always seem to find a new perspective when I think about my friends in a little village halfway across the world. The wonderful land of Ntagacha! In this beautiful place a know a remarkable woman, Bibi. When I think of her life, her struggles and her busyness, mine does not even come close. Bibi must be in her seventies, at least. Her hard life is written on her wrinkled face. She has worked in the fields under the harsh African sun most of her life.She has kept a home and has raised about eight children. When her American counterparts are nearing the end of their life; winding down, and watching their children raise families of their own, Bibi is still going strong. Her busyness, though, looks quite different from mine. Bibi has seen sickness and war rip through her land and tear her family apart. She has seen the devastation of AIDs come to her front door. Out of her eight children, just two remain. She is not watching her grandchildren from a distance, she is raising them in her home. About half a dozen children have become her responsibility to clothe, feed, and if possible to educate. When she should be winding down, she is revving up. Bibi spends the mornings working in the banana groves and the afternoons at the town center selling the sweet fruit.

Bibi does not going around feeling sorry for herself, though. She does not compare her busyness to others. She does not complain about the hard life she has lived, the sadness she felt burying her children, or the exhaustion that wipes over her body at the end of the day. Bibi talks about the goodness of God. She talks about the smile that she daily wears on her face, about the joy she carries in her heart. She talks about her grandchildren, about how things have changed in the land, and of course about her bananas are sweeter and better than all the competitions! She talks about how she is thankful for having her beautiful grandchildren in her life. She loves each one dearly and desires more than anything to give them a good life. Bibi is busy, but she is not barren. She has not allowed hardships to steal her joy, or responsibilities to take the zeal out of life. She has refused to be defeated, denied being taken down. She is standing strong and brave. Taking care of her beautiful grandchildren, taking care of herself. She has shown me a new perspective, a new way at looking at life. She has not allowed circumstances dictate who she is and what her life has become, she is ruling circumstances. Beautiful and strong, she is raising the next generation.

I am so thankful for women like Bibi. I am so thankful to her for showing me there is a better way. There is a way to go about life with a smile on your face and joy in your heart, sometimes all it takes is a little perspective. And that is just what I'm going to do...


(Though none of the pictures above are Bibi or her grandchildren, they represent countless people with similar stories. Countless grandmothers and grandfathers raising up their grandchildren and keeping it all in perspective...)

I'm pressing on.

There are days when I feel so full of joy I think my heart is going to explode, I couldn't imagine having any other life and my end goal is in mind. I feel confident that I have what it takes to get things accomplished, and I feel hopeful for the future ahead.

And then there are other days. Days like today. Days, where after working on homework for seven hours (on a Sunday), and making yet another drug card, I hit a wall. The first big road block of the semester. I began to question, what it is that I am doing? Why is it again that I want to be a nurse? Why am I putting myself through spending another hour learning how to prevent pressure ulcers in my patients, researching congestive heart failure, and memorizing adverse reactions to antibiotics? Why am I set on recognizing heart murmurs, knowing how to administer IVs, and what to do if someone is having a stroke.

It's days like these that I must think back to the days passed. I think back to this summer taking Boke to the clinic, I think back to the countless bandages I have applied, and the countless illnesses I wished I knew how to treat. It's when I think of that beautiful clinic in the village of Ntagacha, when I remember the people who are traveling hours by foot to the hospital, it is when I think of the hope that I possess, that it makes it worthwhile. When I keep this in mind, every drug card has a face, every disease process, a name. Every memorized procedure has a place in my heart. I want to be a nurse because I want to help people. I want to make a difference in the village of Ntagacha and around the world. I want to be God's hands, helping the needy and loving the lost. I want to be a nurse, and that is just what I will do. And I'm going to do it well, with a smile on my face, and with love in my heart. I'm going to be a nurse...because that is why I was made.

I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. -Philippians 3:14