The Here and Now

Ever ask God over and over to show you His plan, His purpose for you, the next step in your great adventure when you were where you needed to be all along? I am futuristic by nature. Strength Finder calls it a gift, I often refer to it as impatience...but that is me through and through. I am always looking for what’s next! What is my next step in my career, what degree should I pursue now, what is my five year plan, where do I want to be in ten years, what will happen when I am forty years old. I can’t get it out of my head! Though it is great because it means I relish change, look forward to new beginnings and thrive on challenges, it also means I find it hard to present, to be now.

When we got married it was a whirlwind! Graduate from nursing school, move back to Chambersburg, take NCLEX, plan a wedding, get married, go on a honeymoon, move straight from the honeymoon to Lynchburg, learn how to be married, oh and start your first nursing job all in the course of a summer! Futuristic? Yea I was thriving. And then it slowed down, I got into the groove of things, it became familiar, and then...mundane. (Except for the marriage part, nothing mundane about that!!!)

And I found myself asking why, how? How did we end up here in Lynchburg, no deep connections, no roots. How did I get here and why did I do it? Is this really part of the great plan. I kept asking these questions, to myself, to Mwita, and to God.I got antsy, I got restless, and then I got plain annoyed. I began begging for the next stop. God answer me and show me why! And God reveled it all to me in that loving but knowing way He does. He made it clear that I had missed it all along. I am here for lessons that I have learned from having only my husband to rely on. For months we knew hardly a soul and there was nobody to rely on next door. I learned deep trust in my husband, deep faith in his abilities, and deep love for his heart. And then God reveled to me that I am here for the job that I love so dearly and for the opportunity to work with what I truly believe is the best group of nurses in the world. I am here to learn about cancer, to learn to hate it, and fight it, and give my patients all I’ve got. I am here to cultivate my life’s dream for wholeness and restoration in those that are hurting, or sick or alone. I am here for the opportunity to finish my education and thanks to my job having to pay only a fraction of the cost, I am here to chase the vision of my pastors and to let their words and their prayers penetrate my heart. To allow them to impart the things of God into my life. I am here because of the fourteen people that sat in our tiny living room last night sharing their dreams and visions and promising to walk alongside of us in marriage and in life. These dear people with such wisdom and passion inside. I am here to learn, here to grow, and here to cultivate patience. I am here to dream about my future, but to live in my now. I am here because God has placed me here. And today I am content knowing just that.

Hold on to Hope

After the hustle and bustle of Christmas, there is something about the new year that is so new, fresh and clean! I love January! My house is back to its clean, simple lines, my kitchen is purged of sugar and butter and fresh fruit and vegetables fill my fridge. The cool, crisp air brushes across my face and I feel new and free. A time to reflect back on the year behind with all its joys, triumphs and trials! A trip to Tanzania, weddings upon weddings of our friends, celebrating our first year of marriage, becoming chemo certified and fighting my way through this past semester as my first time being a full time nurse and student. Though it had its struggles, what a great year!

Two thousand thirteen seems so far in the future. What happened to the 90s…weren’t they just the other year? Though we don’t have any grand cross-continent trips planned for this year, we are so excited about what it holds! This year’s theme is to “set the foundation.” The past year and half we have been in newlywed phase, starting our careers and just getting to know each other and figuring out how being a married couple works. It has been one of the greatest learning adventures of my life, and I wouldn’t have it any other way! This year, though, we are ready to prepare for our next leap of faith! We are setting the foundation in all areas of our life, so when this season is over, we are prepared for what the next one has in store. Financially, spiritually, relationally, professionally….we are laying down the building blocks…setting ourselves up for what is next! Though we are not exactly sure on the details, we have been dreaming, talking and praying and seems like some great adventures are ahead…stay tuned to find out more.

Hold onto hope…this phrase has been ringing in my ears these past few days. With all of the sad global events and negativity in the world around us, my soul has been resounding with the need to hold onto hope. Hope for me is seeing a picture of my aunt, smile spreading across her cheeks as she finished her last chemo treatment, hope has been watching my Grandma sit back and relax at Christmas watching with pride how her family has grown, hope has been watching a patient in the hospital for weeks walk out the door just before the holidays, hope has been seeing my husband follow his dreams and watching God open up amazing doors of opportunity for him. Hope has been hearing my pastor, passionate about the new year and what God has called our church to do. Hope has been buying books for my next semester, knowing I have the ability to finish up my degree, hope has been watching my father being strong and courageous; setting out on a new path while my mom supported him and cheered him along the way! Hope has been watching my sisters, the great women I grew up with, being mothers – raising beautiful kids. Hope has been reading “Half the Sky” watching women overcome great adversity to change their circumstances and the circumstances of women around them. Hope is in the promise of spring, knowing that in a few short months the cold will blow away leaving room for warm breezes and daffodils. There is hope in the everyday if we choose to look for it. Hope in dreams, ideas, stories and plans. Hope in friendships, sharing laughs and talking about what the future has in store. Hope is there if we look for it, it’s begging us to seek it out. Hope for tomorrow for the sun to rise again, hope for a better, brighter, and more beautiful day!

Psalm 71:14
But as for me, I will always have hope;
I will praise you more and more.