Hold on to Hope

After the hustle and bustle of Christmas, there is something about the new year that is so new, fresh and clean! I love January! My house is back to its clean, simple lines, my kitchen is purged of sugar and butter and fresh fruit and vegetables fill my fridge. The cool, crisp air brushes across my face and I feel new and free. A time to reflect back on the year behind with all its joys, triumphs and trials! A trip to Tanzania, weddings upon weddings of our friends, celebrating our first year of marriage, becoming chemo certified and fighting my way through this past semester as my first time being a full time nurse and student. Though it had its struggles, what a great year!

Two thousand thirteen seems so far in the future. What happened to the 90s…weren’t they just the other year? Though we don’t have any grand cross-continent trips planned for this year, we are so excited about what it holds! This year’s theme is to “set the foundation.” The past year and half we have been in newlywed phase, starting our careers and just getting to know each other and figuring out how being a married couple works. It has been one of the greatest learning adventures of my life, and I wouldn’t have it any other way! This year, though, we are ready to prepare for our next leap of faith! We are setting the foundation in all areas of our life, so when this season is over, we are prepared for what the next one has in store. Financially, spiritually, relationally, professionally….we are laying down the building blocks…setting ourselves up for what is next! Though we are not exactly sure on the details, we have been dreaming, talking and praying and seems like some great adventures are ahead…stay tuned to find out more.

Hold onto hope…this phrase has been ringing in my ears these past few days. With all of the sad global events and negativity in the world around us, my soul has been resounding with the need to hold onto hope. Hope for me is seeing a picture of my aunt, smile spreading across her cheeks as she finished her last chemo treatment, hope has been watching my Grandma sit back and relax at Christmas watching with pride how her family has grown, hope has been watching a patient in the hospital for weeks walk out the door just before the holidays, hope has been seeing my husband follow his dreams and watching God open up amazing doors of opportunity for him. Hope has been hearing my pastor, passionate about the new year and what God has called our church to do. Hope has been buying books for my next semester, knowing I have the ability to finish up my degree, hope has been watching my father being strong and courageous; setting out on a new path while my mom supported him and cheered him along the way! Hope has been watching my sisters, the great women I grew up with, being mothers – raising beautiful kids. Hope has been reading “Half the Sky” watching women overcome great adversity to change their circumstances and the circumstances of women around them. Hope is in the promise of spring, knowing that in a few short months the cold will blow away leaving room for warm breezes and daffodils. There is hope in the everyday if we choose to look for it. Hope in dreams, ideas, stories and plans. Hope in friendships, sharing laughs and talking about what the future has in store. Hope is there if we look for it, it’s begging us to seek it out. Hope for tomorrow for the sun to rise again, hope for a better, brighter, and more beautiful day!

Psalm 71:14
But as for me, I will always have hope;
I will praise you more and more.

Wanted

I’ve been home for several days now and have been trying to get my words together, but they elude me. I’ve been asked multiple times… “how was your trip.” “Great,” is my typical answer….how can I encompass in a few words what it was like to be back in the land I love and fell in love. Enchanting, mesmerizing, enthralling…they would all describe it better. I’ve been trying to get my words together…so here we go.

Simply put, these past two weeks have been pure bliss…I never quite knew what it was like to be in love with a place until I went there. But now I understand completely. Every breeze rustling the leaves, every rain drop, ever flower, smiling face and dirt path is captivating. I just truly love it there.

The night we arrived at the City of Hope followed a nine hour bus ride from the heart of Nairobi past the Great Rift Valley, through the tea fields of Kericho to the border town of Sirari. There our friend Zephaniah picked us up and we headed down the bumpy dirt road to Ntagacha…home. When we arrived it was dark, but I could see a huge mass bobbing and twisting…it was the children awaiting our arrival. No more did we step out of the truck, we were mobbed. In the glare of the headlights I couldn’t see a thing, but I knew they were my kids! We had both been waiting for that moment for the last two years.

The next ten days were really a whirlwind! Mwita spent the entire time from morning until night taking photos and video footage for the upcoming projects he is working on. I spent my time renewing friendships and realizing my dream of working in the Tumaini Medical Center.

I remember so clearly walking up to the medical center the first day and was elated to see patients waiting to be seen. That building had stood empty for years, but now it was being put to use. My hours spent praying there had paid off. The best part of all to me is that the very room I prayed in over three years ago is now the room that the doctors are using to consult their patients…that very room out of all the ones to choose from is the functioning part of the hospital!

There are three medical staff working there right now, and to me they are the best in the world! Ben is the residing doctor, Joseph is a nurse midwife and Dennis, a nurse. They are my heroes. They start early in the morning as patients come before heading to the fields, they work into the evening and jump out of bed at the faintest knock on their door. Delivering babies in the dark of the night, saving patients with deep cuts from bleeding out, giving epinephrine just in time to a young boy in anaphylactic shock and providing medicine to countless persons suffering from malaria. Morning to night they do it all! I am so impressed with their dedication to the people of Ntagacha.

When I first arrived and walked down the longest corridor of the hospital the watchman turned and looked at me and said, “look, here is your hospital.” I smiled because he was repeating what I had said countless times in the past. Mine. But something stirred inside of me because it was not that at all. This place had nothing to do with me, and that was ok. Not mine, but theirs.

The most exciting part of my trip was to see how the Tanzanian people had taken over the City of Hope! They were the doctors, managers, administrators, builders, teachers, mechanics and tractor drivers! It was all them! They were happy to see us and more than excited to have us work alongside them, but they did not need us. They had taken the initiative. It had become their City. The children were thrilled to see me, but they did not need me. There were enough things in place! I was not needed, but I was wanted and that was perfect to me!!!

Pioneering is never easy, and Mwita and I were there in the pioneering stage. We were there when we needed to be the jacks of all trades. Here and there we went. Sometimes I had more responsibility than I thought I knew how to handle. I think there could have been nothing more rewarding that seeing what I saw on this trip. That, to me, was the greatest gift I could have received. The City is running like a well-oiled machine.

After spending that first day in the medical center I went home and found myself sitting on the porch later that evening. I sat there watching the rain fall until it splashed and soaked into the red earth. I breathed deep that clean, fresh air and smiled from ear to ear. I was greatly wanted, but not needed. Oh just perfect to me!

Our Trip in Numbers...

(photo taken by my amazing husband, Mwita...check out mwendollc.com)


-400+ smiling students
-4 ornery goats received as gifts
-10 mosquito bites…none resulting in malaria!
-5 airplane rides (including a very tiny 4 seater plane)
-9 hours in a bus from Nairobi to Sirari
-10 baths from a bucket
-2 new stamps on my passport…Kenya & Tanzania
-10 new kangas…though my collection already fills a duffel bag
-6 days working in the medical center
-1 African style wedding celebration
-5 letters received from tiny hands
-100+ kids living at the City of Hope
-2 languages I tried to master…Swahili & Kuria (the tribal tongue)
-3 meals made perfect with chapatti… quite possibly my favorite food
-2 bars of soap received as wedding gifts
-1 child in anaphylactic shock saved
-12 cups of chai…tastes best in Africa
-1 wedding dress stuffed in a suitcase from VA to TZ
-3 walks to the mountain were we got engaged
-1 deafening hail storm atop a tin roof
-350+ gigs of footage taken by Mwita
-15 teachers changing the world
-7688+ miles traveled
-3 amazing doctors to partner with
-400th patient seen in the medical center since opening
-2 Passion Fantas…the best soda in the world!!!
-1 village that stole my heart
-1 “City” bringing hope to a nation
-14 days of pure bliss…


It was a whirlwind trip back to the land we love...and fell in love. Stay tuned...more to come!

Dream Come True

I remember it distinctly, I was 14 years old and I made a trip with my dad and grandfather to Baltimore to see one of the Mercy Ships that was docked there. My sister, Angela, was with the same organization in West Africa and we went to see what her life was like on the ship. I remember sitting in a tiny room onboard and watching a documentary about the doctors working to save lives on ships like that one all across the world. Something about it gripped me, I don’t know if it was the heart wrenching stories, the hope that the patients were given, the enormous size of the tumors they were able to remove or just the thought of being able to commit your life to helping others- but what I do remember is that I felt compelled to do just that. I knew then and there that I wanted to be a doctor in Africa.

It’s funny how seeds are planted in our hearts and minds when we are young, funny how they can lie dormant or even be buried so deep that they cease to live without sunlight. This dream lay dormant in my heart for years. Soon after that trip I entered high school and the life of a journalist or lawyer seemed more intriguing. I had it all planned out. I finally settled on being an English teacher, and that’s what it was going to be. But then there was Advanced Biology class, sitting in the back of that classroom watching a video about fetal development, I was in awe. That day I knew I had to be a nurse. Something from within me began to grow, that little seed had somehow gotten light. From that day forward I planned. I applied to Messiah College, was accepted and planned to attend the next fall.

And then there was Honduras. I truly view that trip as a turning point in my life, it was my first true glimpse that my heart beat for missions. It was not enough for me just to watch the injustice of the world, I needed to be the one in the clinics, orphanages and schools helping. I was the one that had to go. Honduras rocked my world so to speak, and I still have a picture of a little girl that I met there, I look at it often. She, without even knowing it, helped me to become who I needed to be. She will never know the impact she had. I came home from that trip completely wrecked. I knew I had to do something different; I signed up to go with Youth With A Mission for the next year. My story weaves in and out from there, should I staff at YWAM, should I go directly to the mission field? And then I heard of the City of Hope and we all know how it goes from there.

I fell in love with a people, a country, and most especially a boy! As I was taking a walk through my favorite park the other day and just thinking about this trip to come, I realized the dream of a much younger me, one dreamt on a cold windy day on a rocking ship in the Baltimore harbor. I dream that I had forgotten until then. But that little dream did not stop growing. I was rained upon on Tanzania and the sunlight of a love for nursing shown down on it and here I am just a week away from boarding a plane to Africa, stethoscope in hand, nursing license behind me…boarding a plane on a medical missions trip to Africa. Forgotten, buried, pushed aside, but now come to light. A dream come true. Can’t wait to tell you all about it!

Trusting

I love how marriage has taught me so many lessons and has brought a magnifying glass into my life. I am thankful for a husband that loves me for who I am, but also helps me see the things within myself that need changing. This past week he taught me a great lesson…trust.

I am naturally a compassionate person, I see hurt or need and I automatically want to rush into the situation and fix everything and heal everyone, thought that makes me a good nurse, it often makes me an overwhelmed person when I look at all the need in the world. And it hurts most when it hits close to home.

Over the past several months I have watched many people that I love and cherish go through difficult situations. It is my natural desire to what to fix the problem, change the situation- step in and intervene, but along with this feelings of take over, I have also felt overwhelmed. I was sharing this with Mwita almost in tears with the utter helplessness I was feeling. He just looked at me and said, “Monica, you have to trust them.” I stared back at him. There was not 5 step solution, no lengthy plan, just a few simple words. It was a revolutionary thought. Trust. Trust that they have a plan, trust that they will be ok, trust that they are in good Hands. Trust.

These few words also hit me hard though. I realized that sometimes my desire to help and intervene, though made with good intentions, was not always about compassion, but about control. I caught a glipse of so many areas of my life. When plans changed and I am SO disappointed- control. When I have to work on a group project and rely on others- control. When Mwita is the one to make the plans and I have to know every detail- control. When God leads me in one direction and I prefer the other- control. All my life my desire for control has been sabotaging my ability to trust, and it has been disguising itself all along.

The word trust has been constantly on my mind since that day, for years I have allowed my need for control to dictate myself, my relationship and my oneness with God. I have allowed it to take over and remove my ability to trust.

I think that this area has become an epidemic in our society. We are taught to be so independent, so able to fight our all of the battles and control our own lives and in the mean time, we forget that others are capable too. This has impacted our relationships with others and our ability to rely on the only One that really has things under control. We try to control everyone else and every other situation, but don't allow others to help us...because we want the power.

This year I am going to make a journey toward trust. Trust in other people. Not that I am going to forget those around me that are in need, but in a way that I would gladly help where I can, but without trying to take control of the situation. I am also in a journey to trust in God. I long for a trust that I can know without a shadow of a doubt that He truly is in control and has our best in mind. I long to be at the place where I can rest in the fact that ultimately I, and those I love are in His hands and He has a plan. I know it in my head, but I am longing for it to sink into my heart. I trust that it will.

This is my open heart to you all, my admittance that I am certainly not perfect, and my challenge to you all to join me on my journey towards trust.

I know it will revolutionize my marriage, my relationships and my faith in God.

Isaiah 26:4 Trust in the LORD forever, for the LORD, the LORD himself, is the Rock eternal.

Tanzania Bound!!!

Every since we confirmed the news, I have not been able to wipe this smile off of my face! The Chachas are going to Tanzania for two weeks in May!!! I wrote several posts ago that if home is where the heart is, then home for me is spread all across the world, and that little village of Ntagacha definitely houses a big piece of home!

Though I am so excited to reconnect with family and friends and I can't wait to get a big group hug from those kids that I love so much, even more than the fresh mangoes, warm sun and beautiful sound of Swahili, I am excited to see me dream realized-- a working, functioning, Tumaini Medical Center, and as a registered nurse I will be able to help provide the medical care that this village so desperately needs!

Over three years have passed since I sat in that hospital and prayed and dreamed for it to come to reality. Over two years since I had to take a little boy with a nosebleed that would not stop over the bumpy, dusty road to a clinic 45 minutes away. Years since I walked those corridors, sat on the concrete steps and cried "Lord we need this medical center." It's been years and now it's here! We have a wonderful doctor named Ben that Mwita and I had the pleasure of becoming friends with (he treated our stomach aches and illnesses). It is here and I cannot wait to be there!

Though two weeks will be a whirlwind trip, I know I will enjoy every minute of it. From the hustle bustle of the Nairobi airport to the long, roving bus ride across the Rift Valley, from the smiling faces, to the bumpy dirt roads, the fresh pineapple to the rain pattering the tin roof. From the bubbling sound of Swahili, to the children singing their hearts out at night and I cannot wait for every site, sound and experience that Ntagatcha has to offer!

It's been over two years since we have been there. Two years since Mwita and I have seen the family we love. Two years since we have been to the place that we met, grew, learned and fell in love. It's been two years too long!

We are Tanzania bound and not looking back!

Train Tracks

There is a park just down the road from us that feels like a little bit of home to me here in Lynchburg. It is one of the very first places we explored when we first moved here. For some reason that makes it feel familiar. I love walking there, strolling over the hills and feeling the wind in my hair.

My favorite place in the park is where a huge train track bridge juts out over the river hundreds of feet below. It looks to big and powerful looming over the rushing water beneath.

When I take a walk in the park, I always go to that spot hoping, wishing, waiting that the powerful engine will come charging across...it never happens.

One day I was taking a walk and I heard the whistling of the train in the distance! I raced to the spot where I could see the bridge, sat down and waited. The air was full of the sheer power of the train, the tons and tons of metal grinding over the track. It was so loud that it filled the whole valley, it made me shiver. I waited and I watched.

I sat in that place, my eyes glued on the bridge until I realized that instead of getting louder still, and closer, the sheer whistles and mighty roar where slowly getting quiet. I sat there until it was a small hum in the distance.

The train must have taken another path, there must have been another track in the valley near the river, I missed it.

I sat there disappointed, I had so hoped to see the powerful show. But as I sat there I realized the lesson I had learned. And during a time of change for not only me, but many of those I love as well, I realized what a timely lesson it was.


Even though the train did not come roaring across the bridge as I had expected, I could not deny the untamable power of that engine as it's metal wheels clanked down the track. The sheer power made the whole valley hum, I could not see, but I could feel it, I knew it was there.

How often is God like that in our lives. We have a track mapped out for how we think He will guide and intervene. We sit, wait and watch until He comes across the bridge just like we thought He would. But so often He takes a different way. We can't see Him, but we feel Him, we feel His power and we know that He is there. He is just roaring across a track that we did not know existed. He is cutting new paths through the mountain and new tracks by the river. But His presence is undeniable. It gives us shivers as we feel His power, it gives us hope, because we know that He is near.

You can't see Him, but you feel Him, you trust, know and believe that He is near.